If you’re a mama who’s feeling like you’re not enough on this Mother’s day, grab your coffee and join me for this post. Feeling “not enough” has been draining me lately and I want to share a story with you.
Ray, my now two year old’s newest thing these days is to tell me to “sit, sit!”
In this evenings he’ll climb on the couch and pat the spot next to him, “sit, sit” he’ll demand.
“I’m trying to make dinner dude”, I’ll think as I run to the fridge to see what we have and calculate how much effort it will require.
In the mornings he’ll climb up on the piano bench and pat the spot next to him, “sit, sit” he says.
He’ll start banging the keys and wants me to join. But I’m usually trying my best to put on makeup, braid my unwashed hair and look presentable for a full day’s work. I’m hustling around grabbing all my equipment, and his daycare bag, trying to haul it all out to the car as his dissonant melody plays.
And then there’s throwing rocks.
Thats his other favorite thing.
Oh the joy he finds in watching a rock hit the water. My neighbor gave him a bag of rocks for his birthday because we can almost always be found next to the ditch throwing rocks in the evenings. My dad one upped the bag with a giant bucket of rocks that will surely last him a lifetime. Rather at the rate we’re going…at least a month.
But throwing rocks isn’t necessarily productive for me. It doesn’t help me finish the laundry or wrap up notes for work. I often find myself throwing rocks as a mental to-do list snowballs through my mind.
This past Friday, the “not enough” feeling was weighing on me heavily as I prepared for his belated birthday party.
(Read my post on my feelings on him growing up too fast here.)
See, I was already feeling horrible because I was traveling for work on his 2nd birthday. I could’ve put the trip anywhere else in the month. I wont go into the reasons that I didn’t reschedule, because it doesn’t matter. The point is, I didn’t.
On top of that, I so longed to have a Pinterest-worth party for him. A cute theme, invitations, a pretty cake. But I’ve been so busy. Instead, I invited a few neighbors via word of mouth, ordered pizza from our favorite place and made box cupcakes.
That’s it.
As the party unfolded, Ray hardly had any interest in what was going on other than when he blew out his candles and threw a ball at my neighbors head. He didn’t commit on the lack of decor or the fact that there was no themed snacks with cute labels.
And it donned on me how silly I’d been.
If you have the time to throw a Pinterest worthy birthday party for your kid, I think that’s wonderful. Actually, please invite me because I love Pinterest worthy parties.
But putting a Pinterest worthy birthday party on a pedestal is completely missing what a kid values.
They don’t care if you have a balloon garland, themed invitations custom ordered from Etsy, or a beautiful cake.
In a social-media-filled world, with a plethora of affiliate links and photo shopped pictures, here is my revelation:
Just being there, is enough.
If you can just be present, despite your worried, busy mind, that is enough. The bed time stories, the macaroni and cheese dinners, all the effort and energy you are putting forth, it is all enough.
Because at the end of the day kids just want a bucket of rocks, to blow out candles and for you to simply take the time to come next to them and “sit, sit.”
That my friend, is enough.
Happy Mother’s day to all the Mama’s out there, and anyone who has the heart of a Mama, this day is yours too.
Cheers!
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