One of the hardest things about being a new parent is that babies go through so many phases.
They invade unannounced like acne on a teenage face and change at the speed of disco ball lights.
Nothing tests problem solving skills and processing speed like navigating through baby phases. Its The America Ninja Warrior of mental resilience and endurance.
Lets take Ray for example. He loved the swing at daycare, so we being brilliant parents, bought the same swing for at home. Guess what? He hated it. Still does.
In preparation for Ray, I read every book written about babies…they all failed me in one way or another.
Moms-to-be, here’s a pro-tip: save the book money for wine.
Back to phases, while all utterly confusing, nothing was as crucial as the go-to sleep phases. It seemed that just when one method was perfected, it would evaporate like water in a dry sauna.
The methods we used to get him to sleep included, but were not limited to, nursing him to sleep (shhh, dont tell the books), patting him to sleep, rocking him to sleep (shhh, don’t tell the books), taking him on car rides (shhh, don’t tell the books). We even did cry it out here and there, but never really had the heart to stick with it (some books you can share that nugget with, but not others).
I remember one desperate conversation with a friend, when I was asking, begging rather, for tips on how to get a baby to sleep. She didn’t really have any for me, but she did read me the book “Go the F*** to sleep.” And it helped. Just knowing that I’m not alone in this horrible battle, gave me some solace. And the book gave some comic relief. Not to be confused with rest. The only rest I got early on was my vacation to see my BFF and when the hubs and I did a hill country getaway in Texas.
So much pressure was on those bedtime hour(s). If the method of the current go-to sleep phase method wasn’t executed properly, it could eat up the entire evening and any remaining sanity. Hubs and I got a lot of practice tip toeing out of the nursery, while holding our breath, only taking steps on the “shh” of the noise maker. The silver lining- our agility has greatly improved.
Finally at 15 months old, Ray has entered my favorite go-to-sleep phase.
We’ve won the baby lottery! Which might even be better than the actually lottery, because money can’t buy sleep or peace of mind.
Now-a-days we can set him in his crib, completely awake, wrap him in his in blanket turn the light off and, get this, walk out. Yes, walk out! He will cuddle down into his mattress and fall asleep. How we’ve enjoyed this 5 minute bedtime routine after hours of figuring out all the prior phases. And the silence and having some time to wind down together before bed.
Unfortunately I don’t have any great magic trick on how this happened. Otherwise, I’d surely publish it into a best seller. It would be as good as the Go the F to sleep book. Just as honest, maybe even a little bit funny.
All I can say for all you mama’s in the thick of baby struggles, is it gets better. Until then, drink your coffee, say your prayers and take heart, its just a phase.